Born in a little town called South Bend outside of Seattle, she has six biological brothers, one sister and two stepbrothers. Her parents were part of a religious sect, 5-star Pentecostal to be exact. A cult, if you will. No biggie. It’s interesting… Somehow religion kinda fucks everything up.
Anywho… Thankfully, the family was pushed out of the cult when Stephani was seven. They moved to Arizona where things changed drastically. Instead of going to school on the compound, the Lucas children were exposed for the first time to public school. The eldest was sixteen at this point. You can only imagine what a culture shock that was. This was the first time they had TV, Christmas and a whole lot of other things. One to note was processed foods, yum!
Her parents divorced when she was nine. Her mother was 32 and had not drank since she joined the cult at seventeen. Life was changing at a dramatic rate. Her mother made some terrible choices as far as men go. There was physical, emotional and mental abuse. The home was chaotic, the children were feral. Her mom worked all the time to try and support the family on her $8.25/hour. She had been a stay at home mom up to this point and had no work experience.
Somehow Stephani managed to do well in school. She was the class clown which her teachers did not appreciate as much as the students. They decided she was bored, she was tested and passed from sixth to eighth grade. Although she didn’t attend classes much in high school she always got her work done and maintained an A, B average. When suspended for truancy (great idea, kick her out because she wasn’t coming☺) the principal told her mother she would make a great college student because she didn’t have to be there to do well.
In that boredom, at twelve she found drugs and alcohol. Having so many older siblings it was easy to get the party supplies. By fifteen she was attending underground raves, concerts and all the things kids do when they aren’t really supervised. She always held down a job, went to school and had a very active social life. Hanging out with older kids and going places her parents had no idea about.
At sixteen, she moved in with her older sister and husband because by then her mother had remarried and took a job out of town. Her mother left the younger children under the supervision of her meth head brother that was nineteen or twenty at this point.
She got into a little more than she bargained for and if she didn’t straighten her shit out, she could have gone to jail if caught. She was now a senior in high school and her brother-in-law was hitting on her. Feeling unsafe in that home, she moved in with her boyfriend. Knowing that she always wanted more for herself she did everything she could to find her way.
While in high school, she got a job selling and renting tuxedos. At eighteen, she was making $25k+ annually and saving everything she could. After graduating she rented her first apartment at The Sunflower Apartments. It was luxury! Her master overlooked the strip club next door. Super chic! She chose this place because it was across from the community college she was enrolled at for the following semester. She was the first and only of the family to attend college. She graduated with a dual degree in global business with a focus on leadership and management and marketing from Arizona State University. While attending college she got a position with a company in the insurance/financial services space. She was making more money than ever.
This industry knows how to party and things flow freely. Stephani managed to maintain everything while continuing to abuse drugs and alcohol. She was very well functioning. On the outside everyone would agree she was living the dream. She lived on the west side of the 5 in Del Mar California and by twenty eight, she had it all. At thirty she had started her first company and was making more money than ever. She was the life of the party. Paid for all the things and had all the friends or so she thought. She got a DUI, which should have ended all that BS but it didn’t until she hit 32 and realized all she did was work her ass off to party her ass off. She was unhealthy, overweight, depressed, anxious and miserable AF. Everything was an illusion. She hated herself and that fake ass beautiful life she created.
The only option was sobriety. So, in February 2013 she found that path. So many terrible things happened: the loss of her grandfather, her cat passing from cancer and 95% of her “friends” were no longer in her life. Things were not looking so good. The first 90 days she cried at her table daily. She could hardly work. She almost lost everything. She spent all of her savings but somehow managed to keep her head above water.
She couldn’t go to rehab because she made too much for it to be paid for but she didn’t have enough to pay for it and not work. It wasn’t easy but she got sober on her own. After 3 years of sobriety, she found her spiritual path which she has been on ever since.
She has done everything she can to become healthier and more connected to source. Spiritual Masochist was born from the depths of despair right when the pandemic started. To be a good person. To make the world a better place. It doesn’t matter where you come from or how you get there as long as you become aware of your role in it all.
Stephani now spends lots of time in That’s What She Shed which is her special and sacred spot for doing yoga, meditating, pulling cards and doing her witchuals with her cat Jackson. And of course, she loves to share the space with the other women in her life who are on a similar path and love to do the same stuff.
This is a very condensed version of all the shit to say it doesn’t matter how terrible things can be we all have the ability to make a positive impact on humanity. The people that go through the worst of it are resilient and have that much more to offer. So, no matter where you come from, you have the ability to do what you desire in this lifetime.
Happy Spiritual Masochisting you beautiful humans!!